


Le Madame Red

by PandoraButler



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: BDSM, F/M, Grelliam, M/M, Poly Relationship, based on the netflix show, could be explicit?, dominatrix!grell, grell x william, ran mao x mey rin x lau, trans!William, vincent x undertaker, vintaker, weird lau x undertaker scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-12
Updated: 2019-05-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:29:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 10,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22272601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PandoraButler/pseuds/PandoraButler
Summary: Adrian's friend from high school reaches out for some help with her...well...dominatrix activities.
Relationships: Lau/Mey-Rin/Ran-Mao, Lau/Ran-Mao (Kuroshitsuji), Mey-Rin/Ran-Mao (Kuroshitsuji), Vincent Phantomhive & Undertaker, Vincent Phantomhive/Undertaker, William T. Spears & Grell Sutcliff, William T. Spears/Grell Sutcliff
Comments: 1
Kudos: 5





	1. Tight in all the wrong places...

"What's the password?" the silver haired man shifted his weight from foot to foot. This couldn't be real. He wasn't going to this establishment. Of course not. Why the fuck would he do that? He was gay. He was totally gay. Being dominated by a dominatrix was 100% not on his list of things to do.

"I don't know the password," he admitted. That was the worst thing to admit. He should've just made up something. The door almost closed, _almost_ , but he grabbed it. Shit. "No, no, no, wait, I know Grell, let me in. She said she needed me for something!" The door swung open. The chick eyed him up and down before turning and gesturing for him to follow.

This was the worst decision of his life. He should've just... _not_. Why did he come here again? The hallway was small and the room at the end was ominous. He could hear moaning and the scent of leather. Shit. He didn't want to be here. He totally didn't want to be here.

The door opened and Grell stood smiling, wearing a leather corset, boots, and holding a whip. "Ah, Adrian, so glad you could make it," she smiled and grabbed his hand, dragging him in.

"Look, I really think this was a mistake. I shouldn't be here. I'm not cut out for this _job_..." he rambled on and on but Grell just put some leather pants in his hands.

"Put these on, my next client is coming. He is a bit of a big fellow, so if he tries anything funny just stab him for me, will you?" Grell threw her hair back and adjusted her outfit.

"You want me to w-what?" Adrian stared at the leather. He didn't look good in leather. He was a gay man out of place. He did _not_ look good in anything, actually.

"Oh, honey, get naked. It's not like it isn't anything I haven't seen before," Grell chuckled. "I could always strip you myself, you know, if that turns you on," she winked.

"I'm changing, I'm changing!" Adrian slipped out of his clothing and put on the weird pants. They were tight in all the wrong places. He never knew how nice his ass looked until he put these on. Maybe he wasn't half bad after all. No, that was pushing it. Leather still wasn't his cup of tea. 

The door opened and he immediately hid in the corner of the room. Damn it. "Remember, _stab_ ," Grell mouthed as she began her whole performance. She cracked the whip for good measure. Adrian winced. He couldn't watch. This was far too... _Grell_ and not at all Adrian.

. . .

"It wasn't _that_ bad," Grell rolled her eyes and filed her nails. "You're just being a wuss."

"I really don't think I can be your assistant, Grell, this is totally not something I'm good at," Adrian tried to explain. Grell wasn't having it.

"Listen, sweetie, you can make money with me or you can do whatever it is you do. What do you do again? Right, you're a waiter at a no good restaurant. Sounds thrilling," Grell raised her eyebrows and threw the nail filer in her purse.

"Okay, right, you have a valid point," Adrian admitted. "But I want 50-50 of whatever you make."

"20. You're fooling yourself if you think we're equals. You're my assistant, Adrian, nothing else."

"Damnit," Adrian sighed. It was probably still more than tips at his day job. "Fine."

"That's what I like to hear," she held out her hand for him to shake. He did so and then she was gone.

Adrian sank into the sidewalk. This was not what he envisioned himself doing after high school. He managed to walk back to his apartment. He stepped one foot into the door and heard the scandalous noises of his roommate and two women. Why did that bed have to be right in the living room? What the hell? Adrian tried his best not to look. He didn't want to see that. But, he was already noticed.

"Adrian!" his roommate snickered and got off the bed. He draped his sex-smelling arm around Adrian. Ugh. No thanks. "You certainly had a fun night, didn't you? Back so late." Oh if only he knew. "Say," Lau got way too close to Adrian's face. He could smell the drugs, among other things. "You have experience sticking fingers up people's asses right? Being gay and all..."

"Brother, you can't just ask people if they have experience sticking fingers in the anus," Ran Mao frowned and grabbed Lau's arm, dragging him back to the bed.

"But it's for science!" he whined. "Adrian stick a finger in my ass! Neither of these two will!" he shed a single tear. Wow. This was #1 on Adrian's list of things he was dying to hear upon walking into his apartment. Number fucking one. Adrian sighed. If only he made enough money to live in his own place, without sharing. 

"That's because we just got our nails done, idiot," Mey-Rin frowned.

"I asked you way before that and you still wouldn't," Lau frowned.

"Go," Ran Mao mouthed to Adrian and gestured for him to escape. She was always his favorite out of the trio. Always nice. Adrian slipped away while Lau was distracted and plopped on his bed. The scandalous sounds returned. He sighed. So much for sleep.

His phone buzzed and there was a message from Grell. He sighed again. He wasn't going to be a dominatrix's assistant. He told himself that over and over and over again that night while burying his face into his pillow. Unfortunately for him, Grell isn't the type of lady to take 'no' for an answer.


	2. Totally not my type...

A shiny red leather heel kicked a guy in the groin. She placed a mask over his head and threw him in the trunk. Time to get a move on. A lady has places to be and things to do at all times. No dillydallying. Chop chop. 

"Madame Red," the man spoke.

"Did I fucking give you permission to speak?" Grell slapped him with the riding crop hiding in her boot. He shook his head. "That's what I thought," Grell slammed the trunk down and got in the passenger side of the vehicle. Her driver, however, didn't seem to understand the urgency of 'getting a move on.'

"Kidnapping? Grell, I didn't sign up for this!!!" Adrian was too terrified to start the car.

"I'm Madame Red, fucking idiot. Now start the car! It's all part of the _act_ , Adrian," she sighed. Some people never learn.

"No, wait, if you get a fancy name I want one too. Like, uh, Undertaker, since I'm going to under _take_ you to the hideout," Adrian wanted to die. That was 100% the worst thing he could've said.

"Chop, chop, dumbass," Grell rolled her eyes. Adrian regretted all of his life choices and started the car. Money. Think about the sweet money. It was all for the money. Money, money, money.

. . .

"Have you been a good boy?" Grell slid the riding crop along his face. Their client was tied to the table. Permission to speak was granted a while ago but he hadn't said anything. Must be more fun if you don't talk. Adrian didn't fucking know. This wasn't his fetish. He just stood in his awkwardly tight leather pants and watched. All he could do was watch. The whimpering made him laugh. He tried not to laugh. But, this guy was so pathetic he couldn't handle it. Stop. Stop laughing. Be good for the money. Money-senpai would be disappointed in you for laughing. Fucking stop chuckling to yourself, asshole, do you want this guy to notice?

"Did Undertaker just laugh at me?" was the first thing the guy said. Oh shit. Madame Red did not look pleased. Why did _that_ have to be what made him talk? Fuck. There goes Money-senpai, taking the kids and the rent money with him. Come back to Adrian, please? He never wanted this divorce. 

"Did you just fucking laugh at him?" she asked, before slamming her hand down on the table. "That's my damn job. Tiny dick here doesn't get laughed at unless _I_ say he gets laughed at."

"Tiny dick?" the client seemed excited. This sick fucker. Adrian hated this job. Fuck you leather pants. Fuck you Money-senpai. He doesn't need either one of you. He is a strong independent young adult gay man. He can survive in this world sucking dick in the back of a bathroom just to show you he doesn't need your bullshit. 

"Undertaker, call his dick tiny," Grell pointed to the appendage. As far as dicks go, not that Adrian had seen a lot in his life, he didn't exactly have a _tiny_ dick.

"Oh, no, I don't think I can," Adrian raised his hands and noped out of this. He was far too awkward to get caught up in the kinky play shit. That was all for Madame Red. She had the boots and everything. 

"I'm paying you," Grell growled, "to get shit _done_." Without realizing, she had pressed the riding crop against Tiny Dick's neck and was choking him. He couldn't breathe but was trying to mumble his safe word.

"Vatican Cameos!" Adrian frantically waved his arms around.

"Oh _now_ you want to be use- wait, _what_?" Grell looked down and raised her arm immediately. "Oh shit, are you okay? Guess I just sap the life out of people. Goddamn."

Tiny Dick nodded and regained his breath. "Apologies, dear, Undertaker is new and gay. He doesn't understand the ways of a straight mind," Grell confessed. 

"Hey! That's _my_ news to dish out! You can't just tell strangers I'm gay!" Adrian frowned.

"Honey, you walk on the street and the whole world already _knows._ It isn't a secret anymore," Grell shook her head. Adrian screamed homosexual. Just look at him, with that hair and those eyes and his usual outfit (not the one he was wearing now, obviously, but you know the one...that outfit that just screams 'eternally anxious gay panic').

"You're gay?" Tiny Dick looked impressed. "So, you've seen a lot of dicks then, right? Is mine..."

"I haven't seen that many dicks," Adrian stopped the question right there. People can't just _assume_ him to be sexually active just because he is gay. Honestly. He has a hard enough time flirting as it is...

Tiny Dick looked defeated. Adrian inhaled and exhaled. He took a nice long look at the client's dick, just hanging out in the open. It really _wasn't_ that tiny. But, for the good of the cause...

"Your dick is the tiniest. Absolutely 100% smallest dick I've ever seen. Truthfully, sardines might be bigger. Scratch that, I think I've seen bacteria under a _microscope_ bigger than your dick. You're a pathetic excuse for man, you know that? Totally not my type," Adrian spewed out insult after insult. He just kept going. Madame Red smiled. Oh, how children grow up so fast.

. . .

"I'm really not cut out for this," Adrian sighed and took a big sip of his coffee. Grell's treat. The two sat on a bench, still in full kink gear, drinking coffee in the middle of the city. Totally normal. Who wouldn't? Coffee is meant to be enjoyed.

"Mm," Grell nodded. "Totally not. Adrian you're the worst. But _Undertaker_ might not be so bad," Grell winked. She slid Adrian a bundle of bills. "Tiny Dick likes you. Tell me if Undertaker wants to come back," Grell smiled, stood up, and walked away with a hop in her step. Hair flowing majestically in the wind. What a sight. Did she step out of a movie or something? What was that _one_ movie...what was it called...fifty somethin' or other...Adrian couldn't remember. 

Adrian sighed. He did a lot of sighing. The money was nice. He should suck it up and deal with this. "I can do this!" he announced to the pigeons. "I can be the best damn dominatrix sidekick I can be!" he stood up and pointed at the pigeons. "Don't try to tell me otherwise you government spies!"

And with that, he went back to that drug filled apartment smelling of sex and sweat. But this time, with a hop in his step too. Money-senpai would come crawling back to him, just you wait...


	3. Hey, cute waiter...

"I'm telling you, blowjobs aren't sex. They're like a nice mutual understanding. The ass, the ass is sex though. Okay? That's like a full on white picket fence country home scenario," the guy said. A nice dapper looking fellow (if he didn't talk) with blue hair, a beauty-mark under his eye, and a three piece suit minus the suit jacket. Which makes it kind of just a suit? In a sense, if you think about it. 

"Anything is sex, okay? Everything is sex. You can't just get intimate with everyone you meet," another man said. He had short red hair. It kind of reminded Adrian of Grell, except he was a he and he owned it. This man was dressed in the same sort of attire, but this was totally a Red vs Blue scenario. 

"Hey, cute waiter," the blue one looked at Adrian. Adrian looked behind him. Nope. No cute waiters here. Oh, wait, was _he_ the cute waiter? "Settle the debate. Are blowjobs sex?"

Adrian.exe has ceased working. He wanted to answer the question but didn't want to make it obvious that he was totally gay for Mr. Beauty-Mark here. "Blowjobs aren't on the menu, sorry," he replied. "I should've been killed in The Snap," Adrian muttered to himself while hiding behind a menu. He knew everything that was on it. He worked here. But, he needed to hide his face.

"I can't take you anywhere!" the red one laughed his ass off. "There is your proof that blowjobs are sex."

"That has nothing to do with it!" the blue one answered. "I just put him on the spot, poor guy."

"You should apologize," the red one _insisted_.

"Listen, uh, cute waiter," the blue one began. Adrian pointed to his name-tag (it had a nice rainbow sticker next to his name. Yay pride!). He did have a name, contrary to popular belief. "Shit, what does that say? I don't have my contacts in."

"His name is Adrian, you dumbfuck," the red one rolled his eyes.

"Listen, Angel, I wasn't blessed with beautiful 20/20 vision. Leave my blind ass alone," the blue one said. "Anyway, Adrian, I'm sorry for putting you on the spot like that. I'll leave my number on the check. Let me buy you some coffee. I can properly apologize then," he said.

Adrian tried his best not to smile. He totally didn't want to smile. Had he just gotten himself a date with a sexy man? Luck was on his side. For today, at least. The duo stood up and left the money on the table. Adrian waited till he couldn't see them on the street anymore and ran to the reward (aka, the best thing about his day thus far). He immediately put the number in his phone. He would cherish this receipt. Forever.

. . .

Adrian sat on the couch and sighed. He needed to get some candles or something. This place smelled awful. "Hey, Adrian, how have you been? Staying out all night like a party animal all the time?" Lau sat beside him. Shit. Not what he wanted.

"Oh, you wouldn't believe me if I told you," Adrian thought about everything that had taken place. Wait a minute. Lau was pretty fucked up as far as people go. Adrian couldn't be _worse_ than Lau. Like, Lau had two women at all times and one of them was his sister. Adrian had never discovered if she was blood related or not. But it was still kind of gross. He had nothing against poly relationships, mind you, just Lau and Lau and, well, you guessed it, _Lau_.

"Hm, try me," Lau insisted.

"You're the most fucked up person I know," Adrian adjusted himself to look him in the eyes. "So you won't judge me, right?"

"Should I be offended? That seemed more like a compliment. But, you're right. Anything you say will not be something I haven't done at least _once_."

"I'm the assistant to a dominatrix and I still haven't properly fucked a man. Today I just peed on someone and he fucking loved it," Adrian said. "I haven't even quit my day job. I just, left my waiter job to go partake in the sweet endeavors of piss play, or, whatever you call that shit. God, I hate my life." 

Lau spit out his drink. All over Adrian's face. He burst into a fit of laughter. "I was wrong. That completely took me by surprise. You get paid to do that shit? _You_?" A twinge of hope reflected in Lau's eyes. He had a terrible idea. "Hey, if I pay you to stick fingers in my ass would you do it?" Adrian rolled his eyes. This guy was still wanting that?

"It's not _that_ kind of job," Adrian sighed. Never, in his life, did he think he would hear that question. Especially not from the mouth of Lau. 

"You won't have to pay rent," Lau offered. Adrian still wasn't buying it. "For three months."

"Alright take your pants off," Adrian shoved Lau on the couch. Money-senpai was returning to him. How magical. All he had to do was shove a couple fingers in his roommate's ass? Seems legit. 

"Eager, are we?" Lau snickered. "At least let me move to the bed."

"When was the last time you changed those sheets?" Adrian cringed.

"You aren't getting on the bed what does it matter to you?" Fair enough. Adrian released Lau.

The male tore off his pants and plopped on the bed. Adrian pushed legs up and apart. He didn't expect to find Lau attractive in any way. The drugs, the fascination with women, him being a general asshole, but Adrian did find his feet nice. They were _very_ nice feet. Quality feet. Did Adrian have a foot fetish? Maybe just a bit. But these feet were rather _nice_. You couldn't blame him. 

"Alright, here goes nothing," Adrian muttered. He licked his fingers a bit and did the Gay Lord's holy homosexual work.

"Ah! Yes!" Lau was so excited to have another man's fingers in his ass. Adrian didn't understand. Maybe he was questioning his sexuality. What did it matter? That was three months rent out the window. He could finally spend some money on things that really mattered...like, uh, that jacket he'd been wanting for the past _forever_. 

The door opened and who was standing there but Ran Mao and Mey-Rin. Angry women. Adrian stood up, raised his hands as if they were the police, and accepted anything they threw at him. He thought for sure Mey-Rin would be the one to punch him. But, actually, Ran Mao punched him so hard he was thrown back and hit the wall. Damnit. It wasn't even his fault, technically.

Was it worth it? Hm, probably. He could see that jacket now...yes, definitely worth it. 


	4. Are you wearing makeup?...

"How'd you get that eye?" Grell frowned.

"It's a long story, what are we doing today?" Adrian didn't want to talk about it.

"A woman wants me to tickle her husband. Just chit chat with the chick while I get business done. Real simple," Grell promised. The two entered the home and went their separate ways. The woman didn't seem that disagreeable. She offered Adrian a seat and gave him some cookies. They were bone shaped. That was a plus.

"Have you been in this business for long?" she asked. "I wasn't sure if I should call Madame Red or not. I just. They didn't tell me married life would be this fucked up when I said my vows. The guy has a tickling fetish. I just. I can't," she sighed.

"We all have our quirks," Adrian nodded. "I got punched in the face for shoving fingers up a guy's ass. His girlfriend didn't like that much."

"Why did she punch you? Wasn't it his fault?" the woman was intrigued. Haha, what a conversation starter. Adrian should learn to keep his mouth shut.

"She loves him, probably, and didn't want to hurt him," Adrian shrugged. He probably would've punched the other party too and not his lover if he'd walked in on that.

"That sucks," the wife sympathized.

"You have to be frustrated too, right? I mean. Can't be easy," Adrian pointed to the ceiling. Faint sounds of laughing could be heard. "Wanna punch me too?" he offered.

The woman thought about it for a moment. She got $200 out of her wallet and slid it over. "Let's do it."

...

"What the hell happened?" Grell cupped Adrian's face. "Did it get worse?"

"Haha, I'm an idiot. Got punched for money this time though," Adrian said.

"You shouldn't do stuff like that. We're supposed to be injuring the clients not ourselves," Grell frowned.

Adrian sighed. "I had a date tonight too. I guess I should cancel..."

"I can help you with that," Grell grabbed Adrian's hand and dragged him into the nearest bathroom. She took some makeup out of her purse and began applying it.

"He is totally going to notice I'm wearing makeup," Adrian sighed.

"You're a gay man he should be used to you wearing makeup," Grell laughed.

"If I was going to wear makeup wouldn't I want to cover my scars?" Adrian inquired.

"Too late now," Grell shrugged. She was only going to fix the black eye.

The door opened and a guy walked in. Handsome, if Adrian did say so himself, with glasses and a stern face. "Uh," he began. He wasn't sure if he wanted to interrupt or use another bathroom. He was tempted to leave.

"I know I look fabulous, honey, but I technically still have a dick so feel free to take a piss. I've seen them before," Grell gestured. She didn't recognize that this guy was in her class, or that he sat next to her. There were a lot of questions in his mind right now but Grell's gender wasn't one of them. He decided it would be better just to turn around and come back later. Or, to find another bathroom. What are the chances he'd meet her outside of class? Next to none. But, here we are.

"That poor guy," Adrian looked at the door. "This is an image he will never erase."

"It's fine, probably," Grell shrugged. "There. I'm done." She turned Adrian around to show him through the bathroom mirror.

"This is going to be a nightmare...but do you think it's more cute to get a standard coffee? Or a latte? What screams 'I'm gay and want your dick' more?" Grell laughed at the question.

"Just order what you want: the dick."

...

The two sat in the cute coffee shop. It was occult themed but still classy. Just like this man, ever so classy. This vest wearing beauty-marked man was completely astounding to look at. Everyone that walked in couldn't help glancing. They were either laughing to themselves about how strange it was for Adrian to sit next to such a handsome man, or they were staring at him.

"I'm really sorry about that whole indecent conversation thing," he apologized. "Have I introduced myself properly? I'm Vincent Phantomhive. In any case," Vincent paused mid-sentence and leaned in closer to Adrian's face. "Are you wearing makeup? That's makeup, isn't it?"

"Haha," Adrian laughed nervously, "of course not. Why would I be wearing makeup?"

"I see, well, is there anything in particular you want? I'll get it for you," Vincent offered.

"Are blowjobs on this menu?" Adrian grumbled and opened it. Shit. He said that out loud. Fuck. "Sorry! I didn't mean that, I just, it's been a really messed up day," Adrian hid his face in his hands and sighed.

"Why don't you tell me about it?" Vincent suggested. "I'm a great listener, or so they say."

"So, a close friend of mine from high school calls me up like years after we have ever kept in touch. And she wants me to help her with her job. But it's not like...a normal job, of course not, she is a fucking dominatrix. Literally. And then I told my roommate. Because, well I had to tell _someone_ , at least once, right? And he asks me to shove my fingers in his ass and then his girlfriends come home and I'm just..." Adrian sighed. "I'm a mess and I got punched in the face, twice. So, yes, I'm fucking wearing makeup."

"That's rough," Vincent admitted. He didn't have time to unpack all of that but he was trying his best to be supportive to this stranger.

"'That's rough'?" Adrian laughed. "Is that all you have to say? I did just tell you that I'm the assistant to a fucking dominatrix."

Vincent shrugged. "I bet you look hot in leather. It's worth it. You'd be doing the world a disservice if you weren't the assistant to a dominatrix," he winked, before actually finally going to get that coffee.

"Wow," Adrian rested his head on his hand. "Some people are just too good to be true."


	5. You're the guy from the bathroom incident...

Grell walked into the classroom fashionably late. If anyone else had been up all night putting people in their place, they'd be late to class too. But, grad school waits for no dominatrix. She sat down and sighed. The teacher obviously noticed her lateness. The guy next to her attempted a smile. She wasn't in the mood of needless flirtation.

"I'm a lesbian," she growled and threw her stuff on the desk. It usually worked with no-good men.

"Please don't misunderstand," he tried to say, "I'm just offering you my notes from the beginning of the lecture..." Grell snatched the notebook out of his hands, but shot him a glare for good measure. Wait, didn't he look familiar?

"You're the guy from the bathroom incident, aren't you? I should apologize for that," Grell said. She examined the notes carefully and scrambled some shit down. Today wasn't her day. The professor stared right at her for a good ten minutes, likely wondering why she bothered to show up at all.

"Don't worry about it," he smiled. "Shit happens," he said, before returning his attention back to the lecture. Grell stared at him for a moment. He wasn't her type. He also wasn't ugly. But he still wasn't her type.

"I'm not actually a lesbian," she whispered. She could see the tips of his ears get red, cute. Maybe he was her type after all. But she never trusted men. Never could. Hated them so much she'd rather be a woman.

Class was dull. The only thing that kept it interesting for Grell was the increased amount of red on this poor guy's ears. He tried his best to avoid glancing at her but it didn't work in the slightest. Had he ever had a girlfriend? Had he ever gone on a date? Grell found herself thinking more and more of these types of things. Maybe she was the one that was falling for him. That was a first.

"Here is my number," she said, finally. "Pick a place and I'll meet you there at 6 tomorrow," she winked and walked off. The guy stared at the paper, completely bewildered. All he had done was lend her notes. Now he got a date? That seemed a bit strange. But, he smiled.

. . .

"That was such a fucking mistake," Grell downed her drink and slammed her head on the counter. Adrian patted her back. He knew that when she called asking for him to come out, something of the rant variety was going to take place. "I shouldn't have given him my number. Now he probably thinks I'm some easy bitch. Damnit. Why did I get carried away?"

"Aren't you some easy bitch?" Adrian brought the glass to his lips. "That's what all the rumors in high school were like anyway. I didn't believe them, but you seemed to tell me countless times how true they were. And then there was that one time in the car after prom where yo-"

Grell slammed her hand on Adrian's mouth. "I thought we agreed never to bring that time up again. Fucking asshole," Grell frowned. She ordered another drink and downed it. This was going to be a long night if she kept this up.

"As long as we are talking about cute guys. That date you helped me with the other day went well. I think he likes me, despite the fact that I'm a royal fuck-up," Adrian smiled. He thought about Mr. Beauty-Mark and couldn't help but grin.

"Did you tell him about our work?" Grell looked up at Adrian from her perfect pillow, the counter.

"Yeah, surprisingly he didn't seem to care," Adrian shrugged.

"You're so lucky. You're gay so you get to come out one time and all other gay guys just fawn all over you. Being a woman is shitty. Guys think they can walk all over you and then, boom, you're in a shitty mess."

"Grell," Adrian frowned. "Being gay isn't _that_ easy."

"Adrian," Grell sat up and looked him right in the eyes. "If I walked up to any guy in this establishment and told them I wore kinky leather for a living do you know what they would do? They'd spit on my shoe and call me a prostitute. Society loves glorifying women when it's for men's personal gain but otherwise, it's shit. Females are property."

"Being gay isn't all rainbows and sunshine, Grell," Adrian frowned. "I thought you, of all people, were close enough to me to realize that." Adrian sighed and got up. "Good luck with your date, Grell. If you're kind enough to open up to him." Adrian walked out of the bar and made his way home. Grell was left alone to ponder all of her decisions that day.

"I'm a royal fuck-up," she sighed.

"Grell? Grell is that really you?!" a tall dark and mysterious man from high school walked up and sat next to her. She groaned. This bitch. Wasn't he dead yet?

"Haha, Sebastian, what a surprise. I never thought I'd see you again," Grell smiled and sat up.

"Aren't you the guy that supposedly fucked all the jocks? What have you been up to lately?" Sebastian asked. Wow, what a great way to start the conversation there buddy.

"Aren't you the guy that supposedly got an STD? What a coincidence meeting you in a place like this? Looking for your next one?" Grell continued smiling.

"Look at you, still as bitchy as ever," Sebastian returned the smile. He was drunk, that was painfully obvious, so Grell wanted to get out of here as quickly as possible before he suggested something stupid. Too late. He grabbed her bag and puked in it. Damn drunk. She grabbed it, smacked him on the head, knocked him out, and left him there. On her way out she threw the bag in the trash and left.

"Men," she growled.


	6. He was always wearing vests...

Adrian sat with his head on Vincent's lap. They were in the middle of a park sitting on a bench and getting yelled at occasionally for 'public indecency.' Vincent was playing with Adrian's hair. It was kind of nice, actually, minus the occasional religious asshole yelling nonsense.

Adrian sighed, "Remember that friend I told you about?"

"The high school dominatrix one? Doubt I could forget a gal like that," Vincent replied honestly. "Why?"

"We got into a bit of a fight. I hope she doesn't hate me. I just left her at the bar. I'm such an asshole," Adrian sighed again. The wind blew and the trees rustled in the distance. Adrian closed his eyes. Vincent had a nice lap. Very comfortable. He should make that a standard while looking for potential boyfriends.

"Not as much of an asshole as you're roommate, I'm sure," Vincent snickered. "You should just apologize. It'll all work out."

"What if it doesn't? What if she really does hate me now?" Adrian rolled over and buried his face in Vincent's vest. He was always wearing vests. Why the fuck? No one knew. Adrian didn't really care.

"If you don't try, you'll never know," Vincent smiled.

"Godamnit," Adrian rolled on his back, "I fucking love you," he admitted. Vincent blinked a few times, confused.

"Was that a confession?"

"Ah," Adrian's face turned red. "Shit, I'm sorry. I need to learn how to think first and say later."

Vincent leaned down and kissed Adrian's forehead. "I am quite infatuated with you too." Adrian wasn't satisfied with such a simple kiss. He put his hand behind Vincent's neck and forced him down again, giving him a nice proper kiss this time. Wasn't the most romantic of locations for a good make-out session, but neither of them seemed to care until an old religious woman walked up and poured a bucket of ice water on the two of them. She didn't say anything. She just left a bible on the bench and walked away.

"Let's go back to my apartment," Adrian sat up. "It's not that far and I don't want you to catch a cold."

Vincent laughed nervously, "People are ruthless, aren't they?" Adrian grabbed his hand and smiled. He didn't say anything for the duration of the walk.

. . .

"Hey," Ran Mao stared at Adrian and Vincent as the two walked in. "Sorry about that one time, I never apologized for punching you."

"Don't worry about it," Adrian said, dragging Vincent to his private room.

Lau whistled. "Don't forget the condoms, sweet cheeks," he said. This earned him a good slap from both Mey-Rin and Ran Mao.

"Sorry, my apartment isn't the best," Adrian apologized. "But, at least you can get out of those wet clothes?" he tried to find the good in it but couldn't.

"You really want to undress me, don't you?" Vincent snickered.

"Yes? What? No! No, that's not what I meant," Adrian grabbed his pillow and hid his face.

Vincent grabbed the pillow and took it away. "It's okay. I want to undress you too, if that's alright," he said. Adrian nodded.

The two escaped the prison of their wet garments in the safety of the bathroom. The door was locked and the air was warm. The shower ran behind them. Adrian didn't have to imagine what Vincent looked like underneath his many layers of clothing anymore. Vincent didn't have to imagine how many different scars Adrian had.

Adrian got behind the curtain first and dragged Vincent in. He pinned the man against the wall and watched as the water traveled down his skin. Adrian ran his hand through his hair so that his excessive fringe would stay in place. "Shit," Vincent's eyes widened. "You're really attractive."

"Thanks?" Adrian tried not to look Vincent in the eyes. He wasn't used to having his face seen. Vincent cupped Adrian's face and kissed him. The male closed his eyes and allowed himself to be sucked into it. The steam of the shower was nothing compared to the heat shared between them. They wanted to become one as soon as possible.

Adrian ran his hands along every inch of Vincent's body that he could reach. He grabbed his hips and pushed him closer. Their, now hard as rock, dicks grazed each other. Adrian moaned. That part was an accident. Vincent saw it as an opportunity to gain further entry into his mouth. He moaned again.

The two separated, panting in each other's arms, a string a saliva mixed with the water still running connected their mouths. "What are you into?" Vincent asked.

"I like to keep an open mind..."

"But, what are you _into_?" Vincent grinned.

"Ah, well, don't judge me but," Adrian paused and bit his lower lip. "I kind of have a thing for feet?"

"Feet? Really?" Vincent looked down. He meant to look at his feet, he hadn't really stared at them too closely, but instead he saw Adrian's raging hard-on. He decided to turn his attention back to Adrian's face.

Adrian knelt down and picked up Vincent's foot. The guy was caught off guard and fell backwards into the wall. He braced himself, not entirely sure where this was going. He had a lot of scars on his feet, for one reason or another. Hopefully that didn't bother Adrian's foot fetish or anything. Adrian brought the foot to his mouth. He licked it. Vincent laughed. He couldn't help it. He was ticklish. Adrian was beginning to understand Tiny Dick's obsession with being knocked down. Vincent's laugh, even though it wasn't directed at him, still made him feel inferior. He enjoyed it.

The more Adrian licked the more Vincent laughed. The more Vincent laughed the harder Adrian got and then, well, as all do, he came. Adrian stood up and pinned Vincent to the wall. Oh, how the tables turned so drastically. "You said blowjobs weren't that intimate, but what about handjobs?" Adrian whispered into his ear.

Adrian grabbed Vincent's cock and felt every piece of it. His hand was riddled with scars just like the rest of his body. His coarse hand moving up and down repeatedly. The fact that he touched the tip at just the right time or occasionally slid Vincent's dick into the cracks between his fingers...Vincent was beginning to think that Adrian had a bit more experience than what he said he had.

He kissed Vincent just at the time that he assumed Vincent would release. Vincent's back arched and their chests connected as he moaned into Adrian's mouth. This was certainly an encounter neither of them had ever had before, but neither one hated it either.

The water turned cold and Adrian promptly turned and shut it off. Damnit. They weren't even in the shower that long. He grabbed a towel and began drying himself off. Fuck. He wanted to go further than that.

"Feet, really?" Vincent questioned, suddenly wishing he had taken better care of his feet. He was reckless as a kid, always running around without shoes and stepping on glass and nails.

"You have marvelous feet," Adrian promised. "You have a marvelous everything, actually," he admitted.

"Thank you," Vincent smiled. "I'm glad. You aren't so bad yourself, you know?"


	7. So you like a woman with brains?...

Grell stared at the pinball machine and then back at his classmate. Had she dressed up fancy for nothing? Well, this was disappointing. "Pinball?" she looked at him.

"I wasn't sure if you wanted this to be a date. But then you showed up here, looking like that, with a fancy dress and everything. You're totally restaurant ready and I'm an idiot. I'm sorry. I just figured you weren't that interested in me so obviously this wasn't a date. You also seemed kind of mad at everything so I figured you could annihilate me in pinball, since I suck at it, and cheer up a bit," he sighed. Grell looked at him a bit closer. He didn't seem anything like the type of guy that would spend his time playing pinball in the back of a comic book shop. He didn't even seem like the kind of guy that _read_ comics.

"It's fine, I'm wearing this for me, not you," she lied. She had spent most of the night trying to figure out if she wanted to be fancy or casual, and now here she was having picked the wrong choice. Why didn't she just check the address he texted before deciding what to wear? She was an idiot. Almost just as stupid as Adrian.

As much as Grell hated to admit it, she was having a good time. She was the competitive sort, and loved putting people in their place, that much was obvious. "My name is William, by the way," he said after a while.

"Grell," she replied.

"Oh, I know who you are," he said. "You're kind of hard not to notice," he chuckled.

"You've noticed me?" Grell was almost flattered. Almost, because well, who wouldn't notice her? Heads turned when she walked in the room. It was a talent.

"Of course," William smiled, slightly, he wasn't really good at looking approachable. "I've always enjoyed the comments you had in class. Then you started showing up late more and more often, it was a bit depressing, honestly," he confessed.

"Oh? So you like a woman with brains? I wasn't expecting that," Grell said. The two were now drinking milkshakes outside the comic shop. Grell had annihilated William in pinball, obviously and was treating him to make him feel better.

"What were you expecting?" William asked.

"Oh, I don't know," Grell shrugged. "Not that. Most guys are, you know, after the looks."

"I'm not like that," William sighed. "There isn't any easy way to say this, but I was born a female," he smiled, albeit sadly. "Never looked right, though, of course, so I saved up and, well, now I'm here."

"You?" Grell leaned back to take a good look. "Really? Impossible."

William laughed. "I'll show you the top surgery scars another day. In any case, now that we're on the same page, you don't have to be so distant with me, you know? I was only looking to be your friend, honestly, but I'm not going to deny that I'm attracted to you."

Grell started crying. She wasn't sure why, but tears began to flow. No one had ever said that. No one had even thought of her as a person. Well, except for Adrian. Adrian was the only friend Grell had and she'd fucked that up in high school. She needed to apologize to him. She cried. She continue to cry. William frantically gestured, trying to find his emergency pocket tissues.

"Here," he handed them to her. "I'm sorry, I don't know if it was me or not but...I'm sorry," he apologized.

"No, no, it's not you," Grell sobbed. She rested her head on his shoulder and continued drinking her milkshake. "I've spent my whole life trying to cope with my dick. I wanted to be a man. It just didn't work. I'm terrified of committing myself to being a woman, even though I know I'm not a man, but being a women is so shit. You know? So, I'm stuck with this," she gestured to herself. "I'm stuck being an awkward in-between piece of shit that terrorizes men for a living. Sorry, you probably don't want to know any of that," Grell sighed. She wiped her tears with a tissue from the tissue pack.

"What _do_ you do for a living?" William asked.

"I'm a dominatrix," she said. "I allow men to be released from their constricting masculinity. I'm a hero, I know. How does that make you feel?"

"I don't know, actually, but if that's what you want to do it's your choice, isn't it?"

"Do you want to be dominated, William?" Grell laughed. The edges of his ears turned red.

"I'm sorry," William sighed. "I've never been very well versed in the sex area. So, I'm just...trying my best to be helpful."

"My God, you make it so easy for someone to want to violate you. Do you know that?" The redness traveled down his ears and managed to make it to his face. A proper blush.

William stood up and offered his hand. Grell accepted. "Do you want me to walk you home?" he asked, a proper gentleman.

"Yes, I think I'd enjoy that," she smiled.

The two walked off into the night, hand in hand, like a couple. This had only been their first date but it felt as if they'd been together for years.


	8. I'm sorry, it has been nice, but my cat needs me...

The doorbell rang and Grell promptly got off her ass to answer it. "Oh, you came, I wasn't expecting you to actually come," Grell said. Adrian stood at the doorway with his arms crossed and his face agitated.

"Are you going to apologize or was this a waste of time?"

"Right, right, come in," Grell opened the door and took a step to the side. Adrian took one step in and Grell slammed the door shut. It startled him and he jumped into Grell's arms. "Well, that didn't take long for you to forgive me," Grell laughed.

"Please don't do that again," Adrian pleaded.

"Hm, I'll think about it," Grell snickered. Grell released what grasp of Adrian she had and the male fell to the floor.

"Some apology," Adrian groaned, rubbing his butt.

"I _am_ sorry, darling," Grell began. "It wasn't the best of days but that's still no excuse. Do you know who showed up after that? Fucking Sebastian Michaelis. The asshole. He barfed in my bag and the rest of my day was shit. I'm sorry okay, it wasn't you, it's me," Grell placed a hand on her heart for that last classic line. "Apology accepted?"

"Still to be determined," Adrian frowned. He nearly jumped into Grell's arms again when he saw the body on the couch. "Who is that? Did you kill someone? Please tell me you didn't actually kill someone. Why is there a body on your couch? I knew I shouldn't have expected you to apologize so easily..."

"Oh, that's William, we had a bit of fun last night," Grell snickered.

"It moved! The dead body moved!" Adrian hid behind Grell and pointed.

"I didn't kill him. Adrian. What drugs are you taking?" Grell shook her head. "He just passed out here because it was too late for me to trust him going home. The guy is a heavy sleeper. Nothing I do will wake him up. Kind of cute, except for the fact that I have to go greet clients soon. Speaking of clients, are you still going to work with me? Even though I'm a royal asshole?"

"I'll think about it," Adrian sighed. The body sat up and glared. He was not much of an agreeable person upon waking up. Adrian continued to hide behind Grell. "Is the dead body actually going to murder me? Does he seek revenge for what you did?"

"William? Are you okay?" Grell asked. It took a minute or two but the question eventually reached his brain. He looked around, confused, and then grabbed his glasses when he realized he couldn't see shit. Tired brains are the most difficult to use.

"This is not where I live," William squinted, even though he had his glasses on. He was incredibly confused. Grell found this whole situation amusing. She abandoned the terrified Adrian and stood before William.

"It's where I live, sweetie," she said. "I brought you home with me..." Grell was going to explain the rest but leaving it scandalous was more fun. Or, it would have been, had William not started crying. He cried as if was someone else's tears. There wasn't any more emotion than usual, just the addition of wet droplets moving down his face.

"I'm sorry," he apologized. "I guess I wasn't that much different from other men than I thought..."

"Grell, you have to fucking marry him for what you've done. Holy shit your name should be Madame Asshole," Adrian said.

"Shut the flying fuck up, Anus Fingers," Grell gave him a taste of the universal sign for 'fuck off' before turning her attention back to William. "Nothing happened, I promise. I just let you use my couch to sleep on because it was late and you didn't look like you could make it home on your own."

"Ah!" William stood up, completely and fully awake by this point. "My cat! I'm sorry, it has been nice, but my cat needs me," he grabbed his coat and ran out the door, before running right back in to put on shoes. "I'm sorry," he apologized again and then left.

"Are you sure he remembered everything?" Adrian wasn't so sure.

"I know where to find him," Grell shrugged. "But you," she pointed to Adrian, "are you in this or aren't you?"

"I suppose, I'm okay with it?" Adrian sighed. He needed the money.

. . .

"Wait, what?" Vincent nearly spit out his drink as Adrian explained the earlier events of the day. His job had been hectic.

"Yes, I know, the thought of me in a penguin suit wrestling another man in a penguin suit only to have him try and kiss me, was not something you'd expect working as the assistant to a dominatrix," Adrian let out a long sigh.

"I'm not sure what's more hilarious, the fact that you were wearing a penguin suit or the fact that the guy was so turned on by you in the penguin suit that he wanted to molest you," Vincent tried not to laugh and failed. "People are into some weird shit!"

"What are you into?" Adrian felt that he had to know. "I've told you one of the things I'm into. I'm sure it's about time you divulge your secrets."

"As far as secrets go, I've got quite a bit of them," Vincent said, taking another sip of his tea. "In any case, I used to be a stripper. My role was to be an uppity douchebag...and, well, let's just say the passion for standing on people's dicks has never left me."

"Maybe my friend should hire you to be her assistan- wait, _stripper_?" Adrian stood up said that a bit too loudly. Heads turned and Adrian blushed while sitting back down.

"Don't get _too_ excited," Vincent winked. "I used to work at a place called Svante. It wasn't your usual stripping establishment. They got really into roleplay there. I would've stayed longer but another guy just joined and he was too much like me so I left to give him some space."

"Such a kind gentleman," Adrian laughed. He let his imagination run wild whilst trying to avoid thinking about the penguin incident. He would never look at those little creatures the same way again...


	9. I'm so lost...

"I'm not sure why I agreed to do this," Grell rolled her eyes. She was sitting next to William. Opposite to her was Adrian. Opposite to William was Vincent. They'd agreed to go on a double date, of sorts. Much to everyone's agony.

"Because I thought it would be fun?" Adrian sighed. It wasn't the first time he'd had a terrible idea and it wasn't the last.

"No one can hate you for trying," Vincent smiled. "But we do make an odd group of people."

"Adrian told me you were a stripper, is that why you wear so many layers of clothing? So you can take them all off slowly, painfully, in front of your prey?" Grell stared, eagerly awaiting the answer. She might need a turn signal before drastically changing the topic like that.

"Might be one of the reasons," Vincent returned the stare.

"I'm the only one without a dirty secret," William sighed. Coming here was a terrible idea. He didn't fit in with this type of crowd. He wasn't nearly hot enough for them all.

"Oh I wouldn't say that," Grell's mischievous grin returned. "I did some investigating into you. I've found your dirty little secret."

"Oh, do tell," Adrian was curious.

"I'm intrigued," Vincent admitted.

"William here was quite the star on the interne-"

"Ah!" William covered Grell's mouth with his hand. "That wasn't me! That was my sister. I did look a lot like her, we were twins, but it wasn't me!" William confessed.

"Were?" Adrian noticed the past tense.

"She, well," William choked up a bit. "She isn't with us anymore," he finally said. There was an awkward silence at the table. Way to go Grell. You really are a royal fuck-up.

The sound of silverware touching plates was the only communication among the four. Grell wasn't sure if she should apologize or not. "I used to have a sister," Vincent decided to save the day with more depression. "She was a fencing master for a while. But then she got drunk and grabbed the wrong sword. It was a tragic accident," he said.

"I'm an only child," Adrian admitted. "Actually, I'm not sure. I'm an orphan. I never really had parents."

"My father was a bastard and my mother was a bitch. No surprise how I turned out," Grell sighed.

"Good to know nobody's perfect," William let out a strained laugh. The awkwardness continued. The pain of the situation only got worse, as a familiar face to the double couples walked up to their table, uninvited.

"My, my, look what we have here," the voice said.

"Sebastian," each member (except William) groaned while saying the name.

"Never thought I'd see the three of you together. Imagine that, two high school lovebirds and my former coworker, it's a small world," Sebastian didn't sit. He just stood glaring down at them. What a dick.

"Sebastian? What are yo- oh hey roomie!" Lau slung his arm around Adrian. "Fancy meeting you here," he grinned from ear to ear. Adrian, once again, could smell the sex, drugs, and other things on his breath.

"I'm so lost," William muttered. He couldn't keep up with all of the relationships. Adrian and Grell had been together? Vincent knew Sebastian? Lau was...a roommate to Adrian? Did he get this all right? He didn't know any of these people and more just kept coming. Maybe he should've stayed home. He should've trusted his gut. Why didn't he? His cat. He wanted his cat. Forget society. He wanted his cat.

"What are you doing here?" Vincent got straight to the point.

"We were here for the special drink menu, Lau insisted," Sebastian pointed to the giant sign by the bar.

"Oh?" Adrian wasn't that interested but the menu was colorful and he appreciated that.

"We didn't interrupt anything did we?" Lau released his grasp on Adrian. "You would tell me if we had, right?"

"Of course he wouldn't, he isn't that type of guy," Vincent interrupted. "I, on the other hand, will absolutely tell you both to royally fuck off." Vincent raised his glass exactly like Leonardo DiCaprio in _The Great Gatsby_. William, Grell, and Adrian all looked at him like he was a hero. A knight in shining armor.

"Always the charmer, aren't you, Earl Phantomhive?" Sebastian returned the 'fuck-you' grin.

"As are you, Butler," Vincent replied.

"Are those your stripper names? Because last time I checked earls outranked butlers. And, if you ask me, Vincent's got a lot more going for him than you," Grell took a sip of her tea. Vincent was far more attractive in her humble opinion. The truth was the truth. What else could she say?

"Oh shut up, I don't need to hear that from you, girly boy," Sebastian spat.

Something happened at that table that was the least likely to occur. The individual you wouldn't expect to stand up and defend Grell was exactly the person who did. That individual punched Sebastian square in the face, sending him flying over the table and out the window.

"I'm so sorry for my mentally challenged friend," Lau bowed with his apology. His knuckles bled with the force of the punch. "He means no real harm, I promise," Lau scratched the back of his neck and sighed.

"You're bleeding," Adrian held out a napkin.

"Thanks," Lau grabbed it. The angry shop owner ran out to greet Lau with violent and racist profanities. The two retreated to the backroom. Lau would try his best not to get the police involved. He was a great diplomat, actually, contrary to popular belief.

"That's not going to be pretty," Vincent turned his attention to the body on the sidewalk.

"At least our food isn't damaged?" William offered.

"This was a disaster, let's all agree to never do this again," Grell sighed.

"It wasn't that bad," William tried. "Okay, nevermind, it was, but... we can make it better next time?"

"You are the absolute worst at trying to lighten the mood," Grell sighed again. She stood up and walked out the broken window. "Keep your hopes high and your standards higher, darlings!" she waved as she left. William had a moment of conflict. He placed some money in Vincent's hands, more than enough to cover both of their meals, and ran out to chase Grell.

"Could this be any worse?" Adrian slammed his head on the table.

"Of course, but as far as terrible get togethers go, I've had worse than this," Vincent gave Adrian a good solid pat on the back.

"Thanks, I guess?"


	10. Mr. Nobody from Nowhere...

The two walked side by side with their leather attire and a laundry list of people to fuck over. First one was Mr. Nobody from Nowhere. He was rich, though, and that was always fun.

"I really have to pee," Adrian clutched his crotch. Drinking all those smoothies was a regret.

"Don't tell the client that, please. Just ask to use the bathroom like a decent human," Grell rolled her eyes. The elevator dinged and the floor with Mr. Nobody was right before them. Grell's heels made loud echoing noises on the tile as they searched for the client's room. It was quiet here, too quiet. She didn't like it. Something weird was going to happen.

Adrian knocked on the door and it opened immediately. That's weird. Was he just waiting there for them? Aren't people usually doing other things? Besides standing at the door all hours of the day lurking? "Can I use your bathroom real quick?" Adrian requested. The guy nodded and led him down the hall. That's strange. People are usually just like 'yeah, it's the third one on the right' or something like that. But, Adrian here was an idiot and was too preoccupied by the fact that he had to pee. He didn't notice that the door locked behind him.

Mr. Nobody returned to Grell. He made casual conversation, in a creepy way, as they talked about the evening's events. Then, as all weirdos do, he pulled out a knife. Grell stared, not quite certain he was serious, but not wanting to find out if he was.

"You dare pull a knife on a _lady_?" Grell stared at the standard kitchen utensil. She just had to distract him long enough for Adrian to return. Unfortunately for her, she didn't realize that Adrian couldn't return. He was trapped in a prison of his own doing. The locked bathroom, she could hear the rattling of the door and the faint sounds of his voice. This was a bad idea.

"You are no lady," Mr. Nobody frowned. He took a step closer. She took a step back. If only she'd kept her whip at her side, like she was planning to originally. Damnit. She should've trusted her gut.

Adrian, after many failed attempts, finally managed to open the goddamn door. He ran out, nearly falling on his face, and saw the scene. With no care for himself, he sneaked up on the male from behind and swatted the knife out of his hand. He grabbed it, and then pointed it at him. Adrian wasn't the type of person to stab anybody, but Grell was, so he made his way over to her, and gave her the knife.

Mr. Nobody flung himself on her, bad idea, because now he was stabbed. Scene of a crime. Grell grabbed her bag and ran out. She could hear the police now, not a good sign, especially since no one had called them yet. Adrian ran after her. This was something similar to what had happened the night of prom, way back when.

"I'll go left, you go right, right?" Adrian asked. That's how they did it before, when the police found them on the night of prom in the middle of the woods after dark. It was a long story.

"No," Grell grabbed his hand and ran faster. "Let's go together this time. We're partners now. Equals," she smiled.

Adrian returned the grin. "I couldn't ask for anything more."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was based off of the netflix show BONDiNG. There are only 7 episodes so if they ever make another season...could be a sequel for this. c;


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